Anonymous asked: dude, what the fuck is up with the mayor of Toronto? I'll admit he's a hilarious doofus, but I didn't know Toronto was into that sort of thing.
Toronto has been declared a no man’s land by the federal government. Rob Ford’s office was immediately stormed by rioters. He was publicly executed. His body was promptly laid out in Honest Ed’s so members of the mob could use it to reenact scenes from Scott Pilgrim before they finally tore it apart. Peter Birkemoe declared himself Emperor of Toronto and Keith Jones is his violent warlord lapdog, recruiting cartoonists to join his army and executing any dissidents. Patrick Kyle has been declared dead. Team Society League have been declared dead. Ginette Lapalme is running a fight pit out of the Magic Pony storefront. While on a supply run, I happened to pass by the shop and spotted her through the store window forcing weeping employees to swallow the pieces of garish, unsold Frank Kozik toys - their teeth chipped and worn, their gums bloody and raw from trying to chew through the plastic. Chris Kuzma is, as of writing this post, unaccounted for.
I saw Chris Randle wandering the streets completely nude, save for some hockey gear and a leather thong, with excerpts from Hugo Schwyzer’s Twitter feed painted across his bare chest in human blood. Chester Brown is roaming Kensington Market with a machete, his signature high pitched giggle serving as a warning sign to anyone who would dare attack him. Anne Koyama is holed up in my apartment, organizing a resistance army out of rejected and waitlisted TCAF exhibitors. She has a large map of the city sprawled out on my living room floor. She’s taken out a sharpie and covered every inch of it with the phrase “sell your boots sell your boots sell your boots.”
Listen/purchase: Everest by First Rate People
First Rate People’s debut album just came out today, and it’s magical.
Photos from the cool party we threw to fundraise for Monster Edition!!!